So, this isn’t a super informative post, but I still feel the need I must share this story with you as it touched me greatly! Thursday, Noah’s OT came to visit, and stayed for about an hour and fifteen minutes. We went over all new goals for Noah, and set small stepping stone goals to eventually accomplish those bigger doosies. She informed me that he is officially behind on the traditional milestone steps. He will be eight weeks old in three days, and he still functions as a newborn. He is awake a little more than a newborn, but still sleeps more than an “average” baby, and does not have the muscle strength of a two month old. The past two days I hadn’t nursed Noah at all, as it seemed he was fighting more and more each time I offered. I was debating if it was even worth the struggle anymore. Eight weeks of no progress… what was the point?
So off I go to my facebook mommy group, and off I go to complain to the girl who lives down the street. Joy. How positive was I? So, I prayed … and in the shower listening to Pandora, “Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord,” comes on. YAY! Favorite.
Friday morning, I wake up, and after three days of no nursing at this point, I felt a strange tug in my heart encouraging me to try again. So off to my side I roll. My newborn can’t nurse in any position, why did I think I should side-lie? Beats me! Fail. So he got the bottle again. Again, next time he was hungry, I felt the tug to nurse. In a cross cradle, he latched. PERFECTLY. Within moments. AND ATE! At the time, it was like…. the reminder. “HEY MOM! God knows why He gave you ME! Your eyes are opening! He listened to your prayers last night! I’m doing good, mama! I’m learning! I’m getting stronger! I’m good mama, I’m good! Don’t worry!”
It was drizzling outside. Kara was still asleep, so I jumped in the shower. Pandora, please! Only my stupid phone wouldn’t connect to WiFi, so I turned on a radio instead “Live like you are dying” came on. WHAT!?!?!?!?! Awesome!! Love that long. Except, the radio NEVER plays it anymore!
For those of you that aren’t aware: a friend, cousin, daughter, girlfriend, athlete, role model, leader……. passed away in highschool with her boyfriend one rainy morning…. June 21st, 2004. Her name was Katie. That summer, I was a lifeguard at several locations, and so radios played all day everyday. This summer, Tim McGraw’s hit became played 15-20 times a day on all three local country stations. Even now, whenever I hear it, I think of Katie. It was on the radio the morning I got the phone. My mom was in Colorado. I was in my bed not yet up for the day. How is all of this relevant, though?
^ Thanks for sending me that picture, Ashley 🙂
Its raining. Its morning. And, this song is playing. When Kara wakes up, I get the idea that we should go visit Katie at the graveyard between showers. Its not pouring. There’s nothing to do inside, we have the whole day together! We’ve been talking about Jesus and the tomb and showed her pictures for Easter. Why not take her and show her what happens to all of us when we can’t play and die anymore. So, we load up the car. Kara has NO idea where we are going despite me telling her, and she insists we take bubbles. Why not? Sure. You can take bubbles baby.
We get to the graveyard. Noah has been crying since we got in the car. He HATES his car seat and always cries. Kara goes and sits beside the “frooooooooooooooooooooooog” and Katie’s “toooom mommy, tooom” (telling me that’s Katie’s “Tomb”). And she wants BUBBLES. She sits completely still 5ish minutes and Noah completely quits crying all together the entire 10ish minutes we are there visiting. Weird.
So, we get back in the car when the bubbles spill, and some angels song comes on the radio that I’ve never heard before. Gotta find a way to hear that one again/look it up.
Annnnywayyyy…. *NEVER* give up. Funny how Katie influences people some 10+ years after her death. Funny how God *does* hear *all* of our prayers. Noah is the answer to so many prayers I’ve had! I have asked God for him SO many times without knowing. I’ve asked him to give me peace, grant me patience, hand me a miracle, provide me with so many things. Usually I was referencing something tangible …. money, ability to deal with a particular person, whatever. Instead, he grants me the opportunity to learn and accomplish all these things through a little baby he blessed me the miracle of growing and birthing.